You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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