Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Terrible idea I love it
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize