Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
