i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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