I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
