it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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