Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
