he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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