I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
