I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
