I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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