I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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