just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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