I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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