I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
im holly from the hills drunk
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
