its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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