I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
