Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
its not stalking. its research.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
