So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
