yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
