at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
