"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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