I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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