Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
