I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
