He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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