This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
How's work?
Spinning.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
