I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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