I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
