I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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