Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
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I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
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Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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