The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
