she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
