Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
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