Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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now i know why i became what i already was.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
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