What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
