I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
