The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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