i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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