She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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