Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?

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(415): View more from California

No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

(617): View more from Massachusetts

I would be honored to be that friend.

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(313): View more from Michigan

I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot

(313): View more from Michigan

He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all

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(303): View more from Colorado

Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon

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(630): View more from Illinois

I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.

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(386): View more from Florida

Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested

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