great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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