You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
