I'm eating all of the evidence.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
