Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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