i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
