yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
