oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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