Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
