If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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