i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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