I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
