Well douche your snatch and let's go!
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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