my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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