Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
