Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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