I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
