why didn't you poke me back
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
