yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just high enough for therapy.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Randomize
