first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
