apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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