"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
