Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
