OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
