This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
