Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
