I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
