no, he came in my armpit
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
