My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
